Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
