We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I came so hard my ears popped.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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