Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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