Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
did you just send me my own nude
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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