I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
