We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
