if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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