Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
