could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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