I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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