So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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