did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
birth control should be required to get into college
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
