the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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