was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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