this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
