i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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