I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
