It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
