I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
