Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
