Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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