im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
