I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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