just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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