he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
