They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
