I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
