I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You don't make any sense
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