is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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