i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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