I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
