Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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