Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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