Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
