Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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