the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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