I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
