Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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