i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
