i don't like sucking hair
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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