I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Randomize
