it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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