Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
