I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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