I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
