Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
