You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
