whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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