I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
