how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
