You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
