Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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