I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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